How it all
The Compassionate Friends was founded in
Coventry, England in 1969, following the deaths of two young boys, Billy
Henderson and Kenneth Lawley, the previous spring. Billy and Kenneth had
died just three days apart in the Coventry and Warwickshire Hospital where
Rev. Simon Stephens was Assistant to the Chaplain. Simon mentioned Billy's
death to Iris and Joe Lawley, and the Lawleys decided to send flowers to
Billy's funeral. They signed the card simply, "Kenneth's
parents," realizing that the Hendersons would know who they were.
Bill and Joan Henderson then invited the
Lawleys over for tea, and an immediate bond was formed as the two couples
spoke freely about their boys, sharing their memories and the dreams that
had died with Billy and Kenneth. They continued to get together regularly,
and young Rev. Stephens, then only 23, encouraged them to invite other
newly bereaved parents to join them. In 1969 another grieving mother
accepted their invitation to meet with Simon and the two couples. They
decided to organize as a self-help group and actively begin reaching out
to newly bereaved parents in their community. Because the word
"compassionate" kept coming up, this new organization was called
"The Society of the Compassionate Friends."
Simon became a chaplain in the British Royal
Navy in the 70's. He was met by bereaved parents at ports around the
world, and he helped them to develop their own chapters. TCF had become
well-known through U.K. and U.S.A. editions of such magazines as Time and
Good Housekeeping. Paula and Arnold Shamres of Florida read Simon's
interview in Time Magazine and invited him to visit them in Florida and
speak to bereaved parents there. He did, and the Shamres subsequently
founded the first U.S. chapter in 1972. Word of the organization spread
rapidly through interest generated by the Phil Donahue Show and the
columns of Dear Abby and Ann Landers.
The Compassionate Friends was incorporated in
the United States as a non-profit organization in 1978.
In 1989 The Compassionate Friends of Great
Britain dedicated a plaque commemorating the founding of the organization,
at the Coventry and Warwickshire Hospital where TCF had begun. The plaque
was unveiled by their patron, Countess Mountbatten, herself a bereaved
Then in November, 1994 Queen Elizabeth
presented Iris Lawley with a medal, The Most Excellent Order of the
British Empire, in recognition of her work on behalf of TCF.
There are now Compassionate Friends chapters
in every state in the United States—almost 600 altogether—and hundreds
of chapters in Canada, Great Britain and other countries throughout the
world. In the United States, chapters are open to all bereaved siblings
and other family members who are grieving the death of a child of any age,
from any cause.